Well I have decided to blog. I guess I have read so many others on my search for knowledge about this condition that i felt i was missing out!
First of all, I have just started on Sodium Valproate at the very lowest dose. 200mg twice a day, but this is expected to increase. I spoke to a wonderful doctor/clinical psychiatrist Wednesday called Dr Gorashi and he prescribed it for me. He spoke to us like an old uncle or grandad, such a calm gentle voice! He really made me feel at ease talking about lots of things i would find awkward to discuss usually, and we got quite deep into things that have happened in my life that may have triggered my bipolar. And now, with his help, i can see that about 8 or 9 years ago i suffered from several events that on their own would have been difficult, but they all happened within a small frame of time.
I never thought I had anything wrong with me, i just couldnt see it, and when people pointed it out, it would trigger an event. For me, most of my events were depression like, with the minority being mania. I would say the ratio was about 4 to 1. So most of the time i was depressed. I always thought i was the type that could just smile and get on with things but for a while now, this was getting increasingly difficult. I just wanted to lock myself away from friends, family and colleagues until i felt better. People started thinking i was snubbing them as I couldnt face talking to anyone once I had got home. None of this was really a problem for me until I got back together with my daughters mother after 10 years apart. I had dealt with things in my own way, in my own home away from anybody and not affecting them, here now,i was sharing a home with her and my beautiful daughter and my wild constant swings of mood were tearing apart the relationship before it had a chance to really get going again. She (and I will be eternally grateful for this and love her forever more than she will ever know)forced me to go to the g.p and he saw, without too much probing, that i indeed had a problem. He referred me to mental health care and after a few sessions we came to the medication.
Ill leave it there, but i would also like to say thank you to the two people I have spoke to at work who have supported me. Onwards and upwards!!!!
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